Season 2 Episode 3: Snacks, Sponsorship, and Structural Integrity

Tune in for a vending machine mishap, the reveal of a mysterious guardian of the West Woods, and Three Pines Junction prepares for night time...

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Sound Effects by Freesound Community from Pixabay 

Transcript

Friendly Water Glass:

You're listening to Traversing Tuesdays and this is your Friendly Water Glass. I’ve been thinking about our last episode, and I’d like to remind you that hydration is not optional during inter-gnome administrative disputes. When emotions rise, you gotta get yer water in. I do not take sides. I simply recommend refilling regularly.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by the Moss Ball cancellation, please remember—disappointment is easier to carry when you are adequately hydrated. Sip slowly. No one wins if the vessel is empty.

And don’t forget—you can make it fancy. A few mint sprigs. Some cucumber slices. A twist of lemon, maybe a little lime. Water makes everything better.

You're doing great! Thanks as always for listening!

Liam:

In our last episode, Rupert shared the highlights of Season One, and Stephen joined the team as our new sports anchor.

Stephen and Dell then covered the Moss Ball season opener, which ended abruptly following an error in player selection.

We also did our best to navigate the wildly fluctuating spring temperatures, which—like most things this time of year—refused to stabilize.

This is Season 2, Episode 3: Snacks, Sponsorships, and Structural Integrity.

STATION IDENTIFICATION

Rupert:

You're listening to Tuesday News Network, serving all of Three Pines Junction, including the North Woods, the West Woods, and surrounding areas. 

Tuesday News Network, for all the news you want to hear.

Greetings listeners, I'm your host, Rupert Kettle. Thank you for tuning in.

We begin today's broadcast with a word from our sponsor. Are you having difficulty finding an appropriate nesting site? Has another animal challenged your claim to your summer home? 

Betty Blue Jay, certified estate agent, can help you. 

From hollow trees, to forked branches, to multi-level nesting communities, Betty Blue Jay's experience is unmatched in the community. 

Betty has over 300 five-star reviews on Squawk.

A chickadee couple's review reads: "Betty's assertiveness was off-putting at first, but we are now living in the safest forked branch community in the North Woods. We have sufficient leaf cover AND a spectacular view."

Another happy customer reports that his hollow tree lease was secured in record time. "It was a great relief to me, as the missus is expecting. I was starting to panic about seasonal occupancy rates. Betty remained calm and after a brief negotiation with a squirrel, the property was ours, move-in ready."

Betty works day and night to ensure that her clients are happily housed. Contact her today via the Three Pines Junction messenger pigeon service. Same-day responses guaranteed, weather permitting.

Betty Blue Jay. Fighting for your way home.

THE NEWS

Rupert:

And now.

The news!

Local birds are amusing themselves by playing their own version of chicken. They swoop across the road in the path of oncoming cars, confounding drivers and causing alarm and general confusion.

Betty Blue Jay reports that this foolishness has to stop. She states, "This is why humans use the term 'bird brain.' Stop it immediately. You are giving all of us a bad name."

Recent surveillance of the smooshy-faced dogs' residence has yielded no dog sightings, but kennels are being built and it appears a doggie swimming pool is being installed as well. It looks as though the smooshy-faced dogs are going to have a fun summer.

Now on to our window correspondent Sister Cat.

Sister Cat:

Thank you Rupert. 

The birds are also swooping and diving in front of the studio. I find their antics quite entertaining and they appear to enjoy capturing my attention. I have spent several days in front of the open window, enjoying the breeze. 

A starling on the roof opposite walked sideways, flapping his wings and staring at me, but then EmKay began scratching my ears and I lost interest in the birds.

An orange and white cat has been parading about on the sidewalk. 

It appears that the squirrels have abandoned the chimneys for the warmer weather. I am sure the starlings had something to do with it. 

I will continue to monitor the roof situation for further developments. Meantime, I think I will nap in this lovely sunbeam.

Back to you Rupert.

Rupert:

Nighty night Sister Cat. Fenwick, have you got any news?

Fenwick:

Greetings listeners. The garden is exploding with growth. Dr Chuck E Funk has mowed the lawn twice already this season. EmKay harvested an impressive quantity of violets to make salads, syrup, and candied flowers. Their color really is quite beautiful when made into syrup. She was kind enough to leave plenty of violets for me to enjoy as well. 

There have been a lot of swooping birds, and I am keeping myself safely hidden, as I don't want to become a snack. My favorite places to hang out offer me a little bit of sunlight but keep me safe from being carried off. The garden looks like a peaceful place, but it can be fraught with danger. 

The turtle on B street is out and has been seen sunning himself on his favorite log. 

Back to you Rupert.

Rupert:

Thank you Fenwick.

EmKay and Dr Chuck E Funk were out hoping to hear the spring peepers at a nearby waterway. While the peepers were nowhere to be heard, EmKay spotted an owl stuffing itself into a hollow tree. The bird was identified as a barred owl and EmKay was very excited at the opportunity to watch it. I myself fail to see the appeal.

<banging sound>

Stephen:

Help! Somebody get me outta here! HELP!

Rupert:

I say! What is going on?

Sister Cat:

Did no one hear me say I was going to take a nap? What's all that racket?

Dell:

Stephen is stuck in the vending machine.

Rupert:

What? Inside! He's inside the vending machine? But how? More importantly why?

Stephen:

HELP!!!!!

Dell:

He wanted peanuts but he didn't have any quarters so he squeezed into the chute.

Rupert:

Oh this will not do. I knew it. I knew it would be a mistake. But he's an old friend. Surely he would understand the importance of professionalism. The dignity of our responsibilities to the community at large. One would have thought I'd have learned by now. Apparently not.

Sister Cat:

Rupert. We can't leave Stephen in the vending machine. I'll never be able to take a nap with all the noise he's making in there.

Rupert:

Yes. Quite. That had not escaped my notice, thank you Sister Cat.

We cannot, as a rule, allow colleagues to remain stuck in the vending machine.

Stephen, do stop rattling the crisps. 

I had hoped to have the opportunity to eat them before they were reduced to crumbs.

Dell:

What is the protocol for resolving colleague-induced vending machine obstruction?

Rupert:

Protocol! Protocol? 

Would you believe there is no protocol? Prior to Stephen's arrival it was unnecessary. 

If we were to devise protocol for every potential Stephen-induced calamity, we should have no time for anything else…

and we would all be reduced to nervous wrecks. I for one, am already well on my way.

Stephen:

Help? Is anybody gonna get me out of here?

Rupert:

Patience my friend.

If we were to spring you too quickly, you would lose the opportunity to consider the consequences of your actions.

Sister Cat:

Rupert. If my opportunity for a peaceful nap means nothing to you, perhaps a gentle reminder. 

That if you leave him in there too long, he will eventually work his way up to your favorite granola bars.

Rupert:

Right.

Yes. Well. That rather alters the situation.

Dell, do ask Liam for the key.

Stephen:

Is Dell going to get the key?

Rupert:

Yes. 

In the meantime you may wish to reflect.

Stephen:

None of this would have happened if we had a snack budget.

Rupert:

Stephen. The absence of a snack budget did not place you in the vending machine.

You managed that entirely on your own.

Stephen:

Because there is no snack budget.

Rupert:

Stephen. 

No conceivable snack budget would resolve this issue.

Your capacity is...

not presently quantifiable.

Liam:

Wow. I had to see it for myself. 

I thought I might have misunderstood.

Are you okay in there Stephen?

Stephen:

I'm drafting preliminary union proposals.

Rupert:

From inside the vending machine?

Stephen:

Especially inside the vending machine.

<unlocking sound>

Liam:

Please be more careful. 

Stephen:

Thanks Liam, as long as you've got the door open...

Rupert:

Oh no you don't. Absolutely not.

All proceeds from this machine support the Three Pines Junction Youth Arts Fund.

I trust you are not proposing to deprive them of it.

Stephen:

Aww! But I'm hungry!

I would happily trade an hour of my time teaching little squirrels to play the lute for a bag of salted peanuts.

Rupert:

If you are truly hungry I am sure Dell could prepare you something. In that case, I would advise you to lower your expectations accordingly.

Dell:

We have beets, rice cakes, and a jar of spicy pickles.

Rupert:

Ah. Pity. I've just brushed my teeth. I shall have to abstain.

Stephen:

Can I get that with peanuts?

Dell:

There are peanuts in the vending machine.

Rupert:

Right.

For the avoidance of doubt, the earlier unscheduled appearance by Stephen in the vending machine was not part of today's scheduled program.

We will not be revisiting it.

Stephen:

I felt like it was very educational. Also, I am suddenly inspired to sing there's a hole in the bucket.

Rupert:

Moving right along. After this word from our sponsor.

Marty Gnomeson:

Tired of long commutes? Looking for a travel method that avoids crossing paths with predators? Do you enjoy the feeling of wind in your fur? Trebuchet Flight Academy can help! Slash your travel time with Trebuchet. Check out our customer satisfaction ratings on Squawk! Trebuchet Flight Academy. We'll get you started.

Rupert:

Thank you Marty Gnomeson. Listeners will recognize him as our Moss Ball announcer and, regrettably, our marketing director.

Trebuchet Flight Academy. We appreciate your support of today's program. 

However we will not be engaging in aviation-related content at this time.

Marty:

To clarify Rupert, Trebuchet Flight Academy was approved because Acorn Analytics show strong engagement among 'adventurous woodland demographics' and -- well -- some people do respond to aspirational travel solutions.

Rupert:

Marty. I would encourage you to revisit the tagline in full.

"We'll get you started." 

I am not prepared to recommend that our listeners ‘get started’ by launching themselves into the sky via mechanical armatures.

Integrity must take precedence over engagement metrics.

Stephen:

I'd be happy to do a test launch for a bag of salted peanuts!

Rupert:

As tempting as your offer is, I am not keen to go through another recruitment process any time soon.

Stephen:

I could sign a waiver? Look! I have a pen!

Rupert:

That would not help. This has nothing to do with writing utensil availability.

Marty:

Rupert I must say I'm disappointed. Trebuchet Flight Academy is one of our higher-performing sponsors. If they feel their messaging isn't being fully supported, there is a real risk they may withdraw their advertising partnership.

Disclaimer: Trebuchet Flight Academy is not responsible for overshooting, undershooting, or existential revelations mid-flight.

Rupert:

Yes. 

I have noted the disclaimer.

However, inclusion of liability language does not convert experimental propulsion into a suitable broadcast environment.

We will not be revisiting recruitment or aviation-related content on air.

This is the Tuesday News Network.

And now for a PSA from Sister Cat

then on to the latest Moss Ball investigation developments.

Sister Cat PSA:

Hello Listeners. This is Sister Cat, your guide to effective napping in the midst of chaos. You may have noticed an increase in noise, movement, and questionable decision-making in your immediate environment. Perhaps your town is tearing up sidewalks and making a terrible racket. This is not your concern. Find a warm spot. Preferably near a window. Wrap yourself like a burrito in a blanket. Tuck your paws. Soften your jaw. 

If someone nearby is discussing trebuchets, allow the sound to pass over you like a distant wind. Imagine the speaker soaring high above you in a dreamlike fashion. Picture their arms flailing gently as they continue to fly higher and higher, eventually disappearing beyond the clouds. Notice the sound of sidewalk repair nearby. The jackhammer is doing its job. Imagine the jackhammer is the sound of a giant cat purring contentedly. You remain above the process. Wrapped. Warm. A giant cat purring steadily in the background. Perhaps a metallic wheezing purr, but a purr nonetheless. This is enough.

Meow for now.

Stephen:

Oof. I don't feel so good. I'm not sure hot pickles pair very well with beets. And why are rice cakes? Seriously, it's like eating styrofoam what is the point. I just wanted peanuts...

Dell:

You're on the air.

Stephen:

I know! I know! I would just like it noted that I have been recently released from the bowels of a vending machine and then fed a suspect combination of foods by a kindly but culinarily misguided...

Dell:

Stephen Squirrel, reporting on the recent Moss Ball selection process error that has placed the game on hold until further notice. Proceed with report.

Stephen:

<shuffling papers>

Right right right the report okay. So... uh... where did I put...  I hate paperwork Dell. You know that. I'm just... AUGH

Dell:

Section three. West Woods incident summary.

Stephen:

<shuffling papers>

There are TOO MANY sections!

Seriously why is everything a section? Why is life sections? Why can't it just be like... one continuous thing with snacks here and there?

Dell:

You could use an app to organize your notes. Then you could search by keyword.

Stephen:

Do NOT get me started! On technology! This is why we're in this mess! I just want to watch Moss Ball and eat peanuts and I'm to my eyeballs in things that are not Moss Ball. I don't even know what to DO with this information. I was hired to talk about sports. SPORTS, Dell! If they want an investigator they should call Sherlock Holmes!

Dell:

Sherlock Holmes is a fictional character.

Stephen:

Miss Marple, then.

Dell:

Also fictional.

Stephen:

Seriously? WHY are all the competent investigators fictional, Dell? Here I am, trying to document a ritualized selection failure involving water balloons and myth-adjacent gnomes and you're telling me my entire investigative dream team doesn't exist!

Dell:

That is correct. The good news is you are not required to deploy fictional investigators. You are required to report observable events.

Our listeners are waiting. There was a series of interviews.

Stephen:

Yes. Right. Interviews. The Committee did interviews.

They interviewed Mossy Tidwell. Who, I would like to remind everyone, cannot form full sentences.

He did manage to say something about the All-Seeing Eye Dog, which was interesting.

Dell:

The All-Seeing Eye Dog?

Stephen:

Yeah yeah, The All-Seeing Eye Dog is a... erm. It's... It's complicated.

Dell:

Continue.

Stephen:

Well. Some creatures believe and some don't.

Dell:

Continue.

Stephen:

Well. Look. Legend has it that when a creature gets lost in the Dark West Woods... it can get pretty tangled in there you know and if you're not familiar with it, it can be a scary place especially at night. I mean, I've lived here all my life and no way would I go in there after dark, there are parts where it's too easy to get turned around. No memorable landmarks, no pathways, no stream... Anyway there are these stories that those who get lost out there and they start to lose hope, well... the All-Seeing Eye Dog appears and leads them back to civilization. Well not just anywhere, they get led back to Sparky's Tavern. Sparky offers a listening ear, a free cup of acorn tea on the house, and a walk escorted back home since they're pretty shaken up when they come out of there. I mean that's a huge owl territory you know what I'm saying?

Dell:

Yes, owls can sound ominous late at night, even for those of us who are not prey animals.

But Sparky's Tavern? You mean the place where everyone goes for Trivia night?

Stephen:

That's the place.

Dell:

And the Saint Bernard bartender?

Stephen:

That would be Sparky.

Dell:

I don't remember him saying anything about the All-Seeing Eye Dog.

Stephen:

Oh, he wouldn't. He absolutely would not. Sparky does not take kindly to being asked about the All-Seeing Eye Dog.

Dell:

Noted. Do we interview Sparky to see if he might know something?

Stephen:

Uh. Listen. Sparky is a great bartender. The very best. He will make sure that all patrons of Sparky's Tavern have a good time and he will make sure that nobody eats anyone anywhere near his vicinity. He will make sure your glass is refilled before you even realize it's almost empty. I guarantee you that he does know something. But he will also take any secret knowledge TO HIS GRAVE. He doesn't even participate in talking about someone if they aren't right there to hear it. There is no reason to interview Sparky. He is not going to talk. 

Dell:

Interesting. I imagine as a bartender he has certainly seen some things.

Stephen:

Yeah. So they interviewed Mossy and he came up with nothing. He was just wandering through the West Woods minding his own business when he got hit with the water balloons and selected to play the game. I'm not sure he had any idea what was going on.

...and the West Woods Wing Voice...he had to have seen that Mossy was wearing paisley and was a wandering North Woods gnome. I still don't understand.

Dell:

The West Woods Wing Voice stated that selection is determined by presence within the moment, not identity classification.

Stephen:

No no no -- this is the whole problem!

You can't just say words like presence and moment and expect that to end the conversation. Mossball is a game played between a North Woods gnome and a West Woods gnome, and if a North Woods gnome happens to be wandering through the West Woods when the Wing Voice is throwing water balloons while wearing a blindfold, well then they need to move the selection site farther from the pathway!

Dell:

That is a valid proposal.

Stephen:

Thank you!

I mean. Why am I the only one saying things like "don't put blindfolded balloon throwing near traffic routes" like it's controversial?

Dell:

You are identifying a failure in spatial risk separation between selection mechanism and incidental population flow.

Stephen:

Huh?

Oh man. I shouldn't have eaten that tenth rice cake. I feel bloated. And those pickles are like duking it out in my guts. 

Dell:

The issue you identified can be categorized as a positional hazard overlap.

Stephen:

Right. Okay. So instead of having the Wing Voice do balloon selection near... I don't know... foot traffic...

I mean can you imagine if a moose had happened by? What just because the moose gets hit that's it? Now we have a moose on the rooting line... can you imagine how much foil we would need for THAT hat? And even just keeping it on! What a logistical nightmare! You wouldn't see this kind of flagrant misunderstanding in the North Woods.They always have it together. They do their selection in....

THAT'S IT!

Dell:

What do the North Woods gnomes do?

Stephen:

They have their selection at the fairgrounds! In the big open field where the jousting happens in the fall. There is no regular foot traffic there. It's neutral ground. 

Dell:

That makes sense. I will recommend that the Moss Ball Regulatory Committee be convened to evaluate relocation of the West Woods selection mechanism to a neutral field configuration.

Stephen:

Oh man if this means Moss Ball starts up again I am going to be so happy!

Then all I need to do is get a snack and my joy will be complete.

Dell:

It's good to have a goal in life.

This is one part possibly taken care of, if approval is issued.

Then there is the matter of the game. Is it a forfeit? Is it considered a win for the North Woods?

Stephen:

Oh. I hadn't thought of that.

I think it should be considered a North Woods win. After all, if the West Woods Wing Voice is going to be that sloppy about selection that he can't even choose someone from his own team...

Dell:

That does seem like a clean way to take care of the problem. If the West Woods Wing Voice allows anyone who is in the vicinity to become the representative for the West Woods, then it makes sense to be sure that only West Woods gnomes are represented. In a place away from foot traffic.

Stephen:

Okay that's it. I need to go find something edible.

Dell:

Thank you for listening. Stay tuned for more updates!

TWIG AND TRADE

Welcome to Twig and Trade, the community exchange where listeners may buy, sell, or trade items of varying usefulness.

A few ground rules:

All exchanges must be legal, above-board, and preferably not cursed.

All trades or purchases will be conducted at Sparky's Tavern.

No live animals, taxidermy, flammable liquids, or anything that hums.

Sharing locations of food stashes belonging to others is strictly forbidden.

If you have something to offer -- or an oddly specific need -- call the studio line and leave a message. Keep it clear, keep it brief, and please leave your name and messenger pigeon service calling number.

And finally, have a pen and paper ready. Messages will be played only once.

Eric:

Hello I have two left-handed forks for sale or trade. What I would really like is some right-handed forks but in lieu of that I could use some double-sided tape. But it must be on a dispenser. My name is Eric and my number is 65-D145

Ella:

So like I live by Ponder Path? And people keep throwing trash near my family's nest? So... I started tearing the paper bits into strips and making like, mats out of it? And using the plastic bottles as planters? And my mom says they are so beautiful she thinks I could sell them? My name is Ella and I can be reached at 24-C761

Trina:

Hello Three Pines Junction! This is your favorite raccoon, Tricky Trina the Trash to Treasure Diva and you won't believe what I pulled out of the dumpster this week! Half a mirror! Oh honey this is where it gets PHILOSOPHICAL! You ever look at half your face and think "yeah that's enough truth for today?" I mounted it on a crate. BOOM. Statement piece. It says, "I am self-aware, but only selectively." Taking offers now. Wait til you see what I'm working on for next week. Remember, luxury is a mindset, not a price point. If you're too squeamish to dive in, don't worry that's what I'm here for! Remember, Tricky Trina the Trash to Treasure Diva and that number is 09-C731

Rupert:

And that concludes this week's messages.

Marty:

Dell. Get that raccoon on the phone immediately. I want her to have her own show.

Rupert:

Sorry. What?

Marty:

You heard me. She is comic gold. Ratings would skyrocket. We'd finally tap into the raccoon demographic! 

Rupert:

Marty. Raccoons don't listen to our show. We're diurnal. The raccoons are asleep right now.

Marty:

I hadn't thought of that. 

Rupert, you're a genius. There's an entire nocturnal population that is unable to benefit from our programming!

We must plan immediately for night-time entertainment!

Rupert:

Well. It appears I have accidentally become responsible for the concept of nighttime broadcasting.

Marty. Nocturnal programming is outside our current mandate, staffing model, and... species alignment.

Marty:

Don't you worry, Rupert! As always, you will clock out long before sundown. Our night time entertainment will be provided by our nocturnal friends! Perhaps Sister Cat, who has been known to run through the halls at...

Sister Cat:

No. My contract states that I choose my own hours. And I am EmKay's right paw. Is EmKay aware of this plan?

Marty:

Well, I, erm. That is, this is more of a preliminary floating of a balloon to see who's on board! Of course there is no obligation from our diurnal team. You all work very hard.

Stephen:

Okay, time out. Time out!

Marty. Buddy. You're doing a full-court press in the wrong arena.

Marty:

I'm just trying to expand...

Stephen:

No no no, you're trying to call plays from the marketing bench.

Rupert. Runs the news team. That's his field. His whistle. His extremely.... organized pile of papers.

You? You run marketing. Hype, posters, getting woodland creatures excited about a raccoon show. Great. Love that for you.

But you don't get to sub yourself in as coach and referee just because you spotted a raccoon with star power.

Trina having a segment? Sure. That's a fun exhibition match.

But you don't get to rewrite the league while the game's in progress.

And. By the way. This is me saying this as a friend -- do NOT call that raccoon right now.

You wake her up, she's going to be angry... and you will lose all your leverage negotiating salary.

Rupert:

Stephen! Thank you.

I appreciate that.

Stephen:

Yeah. Well.

Marty is full of ideas, that's cool. But once he gets excited it's hard to shut him down.

If he gets to the point where he's using words like synergy, call EmKay immediately.

I'm going to go see if there are any loose bags of peanuts in the vending machine.

FENWICK'S REFLECTION

Greetings listeners. 

I have been thinking about how the temperatures are still bouncing up and down, and it makes me wonder if that is why this season is called spring.

Everyone seems a little frustrated, because we just want the weather to make up its mind and settle into warmth.

Some days our moods can be like that too.

We can wake up feeling joyful, and then the next day find ourselves wondering where that feeling went.

Internal weather can be harder to navigate than the sky outside.

But sometimes, if we think of it like a cold or rainy day, it becomes a little easier to understand.

When it is cold, you might reach for a sweater or make a cup of tea.

And when a day feels heavy or unclear, a kind of “inner shelter” might look like a favorite song, something comforting to eat, or choosing to be especially gentle with yourself.

It does not fix everything—but it can make the day feel a little more comfortable.

Go slow, go sure, go you.

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE

Rupert:

And now, a breaking update from across the street. 

I wish to offer my heartfelt congratulations to my brother Percival Fennelpin and his wife Polly.

On to Sister Cat for further details.

Sister Cat:

Thank you, Rupert. Last evening, I saw a tiny squirrel's head pop out of the squirrel clown car chimney. It was so cute! Then a second tiny squirrel emerged next to it and the two surveyed the area together. I am very pleased to see this new generation of creatures in view of my perch! I will continue to report on their growth and antics.

Rupert:

Uncle Rupert is very proud. I am looking forward to seeing them over the weekend!

Erm. Forgive me. I was momentarily caught up.

In other news, the network celebrates one year on the air next month and there are some exciting developments in the works. We will indeed be broadcasting an alternative evening program for the nocturnal dwellers of Three Pines Junction. This will take a more cultural and entertainment-focused approach. Dell has agreed to serve as host of the evening program. Further details will be shared as they become available.

Rupert Kettle, Tuesday News Network.

Mind the Squirrels.

OUTRO

Liam:

If you know someone who might enjoy the show, please tell them about it! Your support as a listener means more than you know. The website can be found in the show notes. You can also subscribe to the newsletter to keep up with the latest news from EmKay’s studio and the network. Those wishing to support the show further may do so by joining the Patreon community. Links can be found in the show notes.

This episode was written and produced by EmKay. Our network team includes Rupert Kettle, a squirrel news anchor; Sister Cat, window correspondent and nap consultant; The Friendly Water Glass, hydration coach and marine biology enthusiast; Fenwick the snail, our underground correspondent; Dell, an ambiguous intelligence of uncertain origin, and Stephen the Squirrel, sports anchor. Additional appearances by Marty Gnomeson, marketing director and Trina the Raccoon Dumpster Diva. I’m Liam, known affectionately at the studio as The Voice. Original music was created with love just for EmKay by Dr. Chuck E Funk. 

Thank you for listening to Traversing Tuesdays. Until next time, take care.

Message from Marty Gnomeson

Marty:

Nocturnal creatures of Three Pines Junction...

Are you tired of old news? Do you want to listen to a live Tuesday broadcast? 

Introducing... Tuesday Nights.

Hosted by Dell.

A new evening program featuring interviews of your favorite local bands, Trina's latest Trash to Treasure finds, Iris with book reviews for the sleepless and curious, and reports on the strange, ongoing life of Three Pines Junction after dark. 

Tuesday Nights. Because we survived Tuesday.

<outro music>